In the words of the marvelous Edie Brickell...
Oh, I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean
Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks
Religion is a light in the fog I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know
if you know what I mean,
d-doo yeah
Choke me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?
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This song brings up all sorts of issues that have been pressing on my mind. Specifically my weight. Is it what I am? Or am I it?
Meaning, is fat who I am or am *I* the fat? No, this isn't a cry for help or a plea of desperation. I look in the mirror and don't even recognize the person staring back. She is familiar, but not the lady I'm used to seeing. It's like the first time you've ever gotten all of your hair cut off and you wake up, pass yourself in the mirror and do a double take. It's that shocking to me.
So, what does this mean? Well I have a good 30 that I need/want to lose. I don't enjoy being within 20 lbs of Jim. I don't enjoy having this belly and rolls that I've NEVER had. I don't enjoy seeing my butt trail behind me like a shelf...or a ledge.
I should do something about it...yet I'm not motivated. Maybe tomorrow.
Until then, I leave you with a funny passage...
"I've noticed I'm developing a bit of a shelf back there. My inner critic calls it an ass plateau. Seriously. It's a fleshy blob that sits right above my crack, like a fanny back or perpahps my tailbone's version of a helmet. When I see you I'll let you rest your drink on it. "
from Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster
6 comments:
Oh lordy, the back rolls! I too have em, and the front ones too. I often wonder if this is where I am too. I am feeling pretty good, but there are 5-10 still to make go away. I want to be in a place that allows me to not be obsessed or constantly in check. That doesn't feel normal to me. However, neither does polishing off a bag of Dove Chocolates in 2 days. But I did it. For me it's the bored, inactive eating. It's a prize that I feel entitled to, after giving up so much of myself to my girls and husband and god forbid-the dog. I know that much of it is mental, and once I deal...I can move forward.
Do not settle, make smaller steps towards a goal. I think that is a better pace, allowing for success. AND, allow yourself your treats-within reason. I heart you and will support you from the West Coast as much as I can!
PS, don't forget the Wedding Dress! lmao...someday!
PPS, I totally LOVE that song!
Oh honey...it's a vicous cycle. My advice just start taking small steps into getting things in "check". I don't ever remember you being a big portion eater...but maybe start by just cutting back some on that. That's what I did. It helped. The hard part for me is not buying snacks! I love me some chips! So, I just avoid buying them!!! The only thing I can't seem to say no to anymore is chocolate. And I so did not use to have this problem. Not sure what it's all about. But, I need chocolate just about every dang day now.
Well I love ya chick-a-dee! I send a great big hug to you. Have fun at Disney!!! ~KK
That's it...I'm gettin' out the fat saw! We're gonna saw that shi- right off!
Too bad we don't live close to each other. Believe it or not I've put on weight and need to lose about 15 lbs myself. I have a friend at work that I walk with 3 days a week, and it really helps to have someone "depending" on you to workout with. Of course, that's only one aspect of the struggle, but I'm hoping that by working out I will try to pick healthier things to eat so as not to nullify my 4 mile walks! Good luck!
P.S. Will you ask Jim where I can buy one of these so-called "fat saws?" That would make things so much simpler.
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