Open Letter...

I've been thinking about this for a long time...here we go.


Dear Boobs:

I'm writing a letter to make you aware of my displeasure for your actions. You have consistently let me down and I've had it up to HERE! (Holding my hand up to my neck) If you continue to be so disobediant and negligent, I will be forced to replace you. It's not something I'm thrilled about, but a woman can only take so much.

The first strike against you was during puberty. I thought you were coming in slowly. Nope, you just came one day and that was it. Tiny as you were, I decided that good things must come in small packages, right?

Then there was Roo. Poor baby was starving and all you could muster up was an ounce here and an ounce there?! I was milking you within an inch of your life (as well as mine). I thought you'd get the hint. After herbs, drugs, water, oatmeal and 6 weeks...you still didn't cooperate. I did my share fair. How about you? NO!

And finally, Jack Jack. He isn't quite the eater that Roo was. Yet, you still tried to sputter out. I've worked and worked to get you flowing. Slowly you've started to come around. 8.5 weeks later we are still trying to you up to "snuff." Yes, you are "working on it", but all this coaxing is aggrivating and really starting to piss me off. You know what you need to do.

The long and short of it is that you need to get your ducts in a row and start flowing. No more excuses. The boy has to eat and I'm sick and tired of making excuses for you. Shape up or I will be forced to find a replacement for you.

Sincerely,

Management